Influence

Have you ever wondered what other people truely thought about you? If they know the actual you, or if they just have their own ideas about who are? Have you ever wondered what sort of influence  you actaully make on people?

I wonder this alot. In fact, this has been laid on my heart pretyt heavily here lately. I wonder if the way that I live, and the way that I portray myself truely reflect who I am. Do I show my love for Christ enough? Could someone who "sorta" knew me be able to tell that I was a Christian? I wonder if people think of Christ when they see me and how I live my life, or if they just see me as the "sweet, innocent girl."

I know this has alot to do with the way I handle oppurtunities to explain why I do things the way I do. I won't try to trick you or myself, I have had several oppurtunities that I have scared myself out of taking. I don't know why I do that. I know that God gives them to me to spread His name, and that the words that I speak come from Him, but sometimes I cant shake my worldy nature.

My goal, and I'm even tempted to say calling, is to be a influence. I love working with children, teenagers, and just people who are younger than me. In high school, my favorite memories were the ones in which I was in the situation to help someone younger than me, to "mentor." I dont know why, but I'm not a fan of the word mentor. I want to me someone a person can come to for help. I want to be a friend. I want to influence the life of someone positively. I want to show the love of Christ with my actions and my love.
This is why I love athletic training. I feel like I will be able to do this the rest of my life; influence the lives of the athletes I work with.

But I still wonder, what about the people my age? What about my teammates? I guess the question is do I show Christ's love enough?  I have it, and I want to share it, but do I enough that people can see it?

Christ, I recognize the oppurtunites you give me and I pray that you would make me take them. I pray that my life would scream your name, through words, actions and love.