it's not me

I knew it would happen. It was only a matter of time...
I knew I would neglect this blog...

It happens alot though in life...People get busy, focused on things that pertain to them, and begin to neglect even the most pivotal things in life.
I think this happens to me every semester. I get sooo caught up in school, grades, softball, grades, school, that I forget my family, my boyfriend, and even my God.

Over and over again through the past few weeks, the same things has been placed on my heart... the theme of this blog; Soli Deo Gloria. Softball has been going so great this year, and there are alot of factors that play into why. But aside from it all, the true reason is Christ. without His gift of talent in which he has given each girl on the team, we wouldn't win. If He didn't give our coaches the personality, drive, and passion that He did, we wouldn't win.
But even outside of softball, this notion of giving God glory has been laid on my heart. College is hard. Its harder for some than others. I do alot, I have alot of responsibilites, and I always seem to get things done. I could try to say that the reason behind it is my "awesome" time mangement skills, or my "smarts," but in all honesty, its not me, it's Christ.
He is with me. He helps me get through the tough times. He keeps me calm through the stressful times. He has blessed me with an awesome support group, an awesome family, an awesome boyfriend, and an awesome team. He has given me the skills and talents to be able to do all that I do. Lord knows that its not me that makes it all possible. I am certain that if it were left to me, I would have either quit softball or have a very poor GPA.

But, even with all this understanding that all that I am is because of gifts from God, and all that I do is because of his blessing, I still forget about him. I still get caught up in trying to make the grade, play outstanding; I still get caught up in trying to be everything, the best in everything. Let me speak from experience, this is the most exhausting thing to try to do on your own. It leaves you tired, beat down, alone and feeling worthless. It's impossible. It just can not be done. ALONE. It cannot not be done alone.

With Christ, it can be done. With Christ we can face our biggest challenges with confidence.
One of my favorite things about Christ is that no matter what, He loves me. To Him, it doesn't matter if I give up a walk off grand slam in the conference championship game. To Him, I am precious. I am loved. What great joy is it to know that even if you fail in all of your wordly responsibilties, at the end of the day you can rest in the fact that Christ loves you. What comfort and confidence this brings me.
It doesn't matter if the rest of the world hates me, I am loved by the creator and ruler of the universe.

All that I do is because of Christ.
All that I am is becauuse of Christ.
All that I accomplished is because of Christ.
He loves me. I love Him.
He deserves the glory and praise, because this life is not my own. what I do is not for me, but to, in some way, bring honor back to Christ and to show his love.

Thank you Lord for the success that you have given my team. I pray that through it we bring you glory and honor. May your name be lifted by my performances. May your loved be showed through my actions.
amen.

Dairy Queen

So it's been a rough go for the baseball team here lately...
What better way to console ourselves (yes i am included) than to hit up the closest dairy queen and binge out on ice cream.
It was pretty good...except it was at about 9:00-9:30ish...now its almost an hour past my bedtime and im still wired.

I think I have lost my creativeness (not that i really had any) to blog. I open a new page and feel like i have soemthing to say, but i really dont. let's go down the list of all of today's events...

-took me thiry mins to get out of bed this morning - had class at 8, alarm went off at 7, didnt get out of bed till almost 7:35...but still made it to class before the teacher!
- got my gen med reviews, had an "awesome" / awkward discussion with the two most important people in my program
- next class was cancelled, so i went to the library and studied for about an hour
- next class was held in the pool, going over aquatic rehab [it was pretty cool, but it was cold, and im not a fan of water really]
- went and ate lunch in the cafe with some new friends
- played a quick game of ping pong
- took a quick shower
- got ready and went to the atr
- took athletes blood pressure for a good two hours at physicals
- talked to some dr's
- ate some pizza
- got back the my apt, wasted about half an hour and then started to study
- then got a message about going to dq
- took my pjs, which i already had on, off and got redressed
- went to dairy queen and ate some ice cream i shouldn't have
- came back to the school and hung out with ryan and some baseball friends
- came back to my apt and decided it was too late to work on anything
- wasted time on facebook and now listing everything that i did today on this blog.

yep. i did it. i wrote down everything i did today. i know its super interesting...

i am going to miss my friends that are graduating this year. when me and ryan hang out with his teammate/friends, i dont think we stop laughing...it will definitly be weird when they are gone next semester...

well i guess i will stop my rambling and possibly try to go to bed...
we will see.

ashley

lonely bones

So we got back from San Antonio today.
Ryan is in Hobbs, New Mexico. I have stuff I should be doing, but I'm not going to do it.

Sometimes I like nights like tonight, but other times I'm not such a great fan.
Tonight I'm not a fan.

We got back, and I ran to get a birthday present for a five year old. Pretty simple.
Then I came back, and "had nothing to do" (when in reality I have a list of things I need to be doing) but wasted time on the computer. I am becoming very proficient at wasting time these days. I call it "junioritis." I know I am almost done, and because of this I have a case of "pre-senioritis," also known as "junioritis."
Yep, thats right.

I think nights like tonight suck because I miss my family alot. I haven't been home in a really long time, and the future doesn't look promising. I am missing alot of what is happening in my brohter and sisters life and I can't do anything about that. I pray that they know that I love them so so so much and would do anything to be there supporting them if I could. I miss my brother and sister alot tonight.

These are older pictures, but I love both of them!

Ugh, I miss them so much right now!!

Someone else who I am missing something terrible tonight too. Here he is sporting his favorite outfit. The one that makes him be away all the time! At least he looks good in it! :) Wish he were here tonight.

I guess I don't really have much to say right now. Just got some loneliness in me tonight. Nothing that won't pass and be dismissed when I finally get to go home again. and when Ryan finally comes home. Looking forward to that!

ashley

Deep Breath

Things are starting to get crazy over here.
School in general is wearing me out. Softball has been going great, and for the first time since I have been in college, I would rather just be playing ball than actually being in school. Weird, I know.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that I am getting ready to be done with school, or that we are doing so well in softball, or I am just fed up with ridiculous expectations that I haven't been prepared for.

What I get so frustrated about is when you are expected to know something that someone was supposed to teach you, but they didn't because they feel like education is a self taught deal. If I wanted to teach myself, I wouldn't be paying $20,000 a year. I could have bought a book and read it for waaaaaay cheaper than that.
Don't get me wrong, there are several, even numerous things that is so awesome about Wesleyan ATEP. Just this one thing makes it hard. I guess, though, its what seperates the good from the best. I want to be the best, so I put in the time....
I should just suck it up and read a book :)


In other news, we are currently in FIRST place in conference. We don't have it locked up for good just yet though. We play the two teams that could take it away from us within the next week. Big games. Call for big plays. Call for big hearts and lots of hard work. Luckily, my team has all of that. I'm so excited to see how everything will work out. It awesome to be on a winning team again.

gotta love the facials... :/

Soli Deo Gloria

What a day. I love the team that I play for. With everything that we have been through this season, drug suspensions, people quitting, injuries, and more, we are a complete team. We got rid of those who were bringing us down, have come together and are finally playing like a group of girls who have talent and want to win.
It feels awesome.

Todays games were big. We played Our Lady of the Lake, who WAS number one in conference and were beating all the big teams. Today we showed them that we are here and ready to go at it.

I threw game one. I did really well for 6 and 2/3 innings. Guess i just got tired. Went into the top of the 7th winning 1-0. Walked, gave up a hit, threw a wild pitch, then gave up another hit that put them ahead 2-1. All with two stinkin outs!! Oldham came in and got the last out, then our bats pulled through in the bottom of the 7th. That was one of the most exciting games I have been a part of my entire career at Welseyan. I loved it.
Congratulations guys! We are now in first place, still with big games coming up. After today though, I fully believe that we can actually make it to nationals.

My Team and our Pink! (which we are now allowed to wear the rest of the year)

Me, and by the way my fingers are shaped, I would say throwing a screw ball.

Thank you Lord for this talent that you have given to me and my teammates. Without You, none of us would be able to do the things that we do, especially when it comes to this sport.

No matter the outcome of any game, I came hold my head up knowning that I am loved by the ruler and creater of the world and all the things in it.

Thank you for Jesus, whose life, death and resurrection we are celebrating tomorrow.

"But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed." Isaiah 53:5

Thank you Lord.

Soli Deo Gloria.

21st Century

I feel like I have finally entered the 21st century.

I am connected on the latest internet social network.
I have a blog.
I have an Ipod.
I now have a webcam and Skype.


Man, it feels different to be on this level....


Isn't it crazy all the things that technology lets us do. I honestly could not imagine being in college without my laptop and Ipod. School without Google, easybib, powerpoint, YouTube...brutal. Dad, I do not know how you did it. More power to you lol...

Big games tomorrow, and now with one pitcher gone, I think we have a better shot...

I think its crazy how one day someone can be all about the game and then the next hang em up. I just dont understand....

Today is Autism Awareness Day. I'm willing to bet you know someone who is autistic or who has been affected in some way by autsim. Just remember those people and keep them in your prayers. God creates each one of us with a purpose to fulfill His plans. Even those with Autsim.

ashley

Softball

I have spent just about my entire day out on the softball field.

Practice from 11-2:30
Had to go "retarp" our field from 3:30-4:30
Then I have to go pitch at 5.

This has prompted me to dedicate this post to softball. :)

To check up on Wesleyan Sports (including softball):  http://txwes.edu/athletics/index.htm

To keep up with just softball: http://txwes.edu/athletics/w-softball/index.htm

This was last night actually, against Texas College. I think its funy how the girl in the background is smiling

These are all from this year...

How about some old school ones...

Freshman year: Conference Tourn.

Slogan of our team:

:)

And now for a progression thru the years:

Freshman Roster Picture 2008

Sophomore Roster Picture 2009

 Junior Roster Picture 2010

See, my hair is getting darker...

ashley